Back in 2003 I thought I begat Jesus because I had a mystical experience when I was having sex with this girl. The sex started with me confessing all my shameful secrets to her because I had this idea in my head that no girls ever loved me because I never shared the real me with anyone. So I confessed everything, except for one thing, to her and then we started having sex and it was like tantric sex even though neither of us had studied tantra. At one point it was like we were telepathic and she was pulling these blue energetic threads of light from my mind and each one was a negative idea of myself. Part of me wanted to be a girl, I wanted to be the girl I was having sex with as a matter of fact, so I had this desire in my heart to live again as our daughter. As the sex went on for what felt like hours I saw a light forming inside her womb and I realized that imposing myself on this child by trying to live again as it was a grave mistake and the only way I could overcome my desire was to forgive my father and his father for doing that to their children. That night I had a dream about my entire future and how terrible it was going to be. I knew how bad my twenties would be and I knew things would have a brief respite at 30 which all ended up happening. Every now and then I will get the most intense deja vu and I know it's because i am living through something i saw in that dream. I also felt like I saw the light of God and it had a hole in it shaped just like my body that I was placed into and absorbed into the Godhead and I distinctly remember being surprised by the fact that it wasn't like I was a subservient being within the Godhead, I was it.
The next morning something happened because of this guy who will be important later we'll call him J. He basically caused the child's death by calling the girl I was with a whore and saying she had herpes. I was praying for someone to save the child when I heard a woman's voice telling me it was going to be okay.
Then more people kept coming after me including the sherriff and my parents, it was like the whole world was turning on me because I was God or because of the child. Somehow I gave everyone including myself amnesia, but it might have been because I was trying to hide the fact that I was actually the antichrist.
In 2005 my amnesia started clearing up and I started to piece the mystical experience with the girl and the child back together, but it was (and still is) incomplete. This caused a lot of confusion and heightened the idea that the child could have been Jesus and I was his father.
The next ten years were basically me struggling with the amnesia and having a really difficult time in life because every time I thought about it I ended up in the psych ward. In my first visit to the psych ward this guy had me read two verses from the bible that will be important later, "blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness" and "blessed are the peacemakers".
Then in 2015 things got serious. I had a weird experience walking 10 miles through the city of Clearwater FL barefoot with my dog, which I was doing for a reason, but it's not that important. On this walk I wanted to get water for my dog and I couldn't find any until I found this church and I noticed that the pavement in front of the church stopped hurting my feet. So I resolved to attend this church that Sunday. Then I continued on my walk and I was judging cars for how destructive and evil they are, not just for the environmental damage, but the fact that everyone in them just races past the homeless or people on the street who need help. It's like they're just going too fast to care. When all of a sudden I heard a bicycle bell behind me and its rider looked exactly like Jesus, lank brown hair streaked with gray, beard, glowing blue eyes which in my mind were like blue flames. Then I heard a voice in my head asking me if bicycles could be redeemed. So I thought okay this is real, that question proves he's really Jesus and the fact he's asking *me* if something can be redeemed means I really am God or whatever. So I finished my walk, but not before giving this guy permission to redeem whatever he wanted.
So that Sunday I went to the church (pentecostal) and the sermon was kind of weird, but during the worship songs a woman started singing in tongues, but I could understand what she was saying and it was, "he's here he's right here". So I assumed it meant me. Then I got baptized right then and there at age 30 which I thought was important because that's the age Jesus got baptized.
Later that year, the guy from earlier 'J' told me three things, that he was the voices in my head, that he couldn't be arrested because he was Satan and he ran the police (which made me believe he was the man of lawlessness), and that he regretted his son, which really pissed me off because he had caused the death of mine.
So I set out in the middle of the night and there was only one other car on the road with me that night, I coasted my car up to my parents house, snuck in like a thief, got my bow and a single arrow (first horseman of the apocalypse has a bow). I should mention that as I was making this drive I had a vision of a serpent with a lion's head bowing down and saying "I surrender to all mankind". I'll come back to this. Anyway, I got my bow and the arrow and I drove to J's house where the entrance was in an alley and I shot the arrow right next to his door into his recycling bin.
I wanted to show him that being Satan didn't make him safe from anything, I wanted him to stop taking his wife and son for granted, by showing him he could be taken away from them easily.
I of course got committed to a psych ward, and unfortunately I don't think he took it the right way, but I did see that serpent surrender to all mankind, only the thing is, I knew there was treachery in that surrender because I believed he surrendered to all mankind, but not his two agents who aren't men at all, but rather beasts who he empowered, and his objective was to subjugate mankind to these two beasts so he could effectively get mankind back beneath him.
So far it doesn't really seem like I am the bad guy, but keep reading.
Another thing that happened in 2015 that was kind of important was when I thought a certain group was Babylon the whore and I tried to offer J's friend (who was laughing along side of him when he caused my child's death) a chance to prophesy against them, which he refused and I believed all Babylon's sins would be upon him for refusing. So I went in his place and prophesied in the streets near their headquarters. After I did this I had a vision of the doors of their building being opened for me and I saw some of the things they did there.
2016 to 2019 wasn't that eventful because I was in a relationship with someone and it was also the longest period of time I had stayed out of the psych ward since 2005.
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